Unleash the Herd.
Welcome to the home of bovine belligerence and farmyard fun. We're not about bad burgers, just beef with a bad attitude.
Our Nefarious Wares
The "Moo-d Swing" T-Shirt
Perfect for days when you feel udderly unstoppable. And also a bit grumpy. 100% pre-shrunk cotton, 200% attitude.
$24.99
"Official Cow-Tipping Permit" Bumper Sticker
This highly official, not-at-all-fake permit grants you bragging rights. The cows will be very intimidated. We promise.
$7.50
Sinister Steer Plush Toy
Cuddly, yet plotting world domination from your bed. Its soft exterior hides a heart of pure, unadulterated mischief.
$29.99
The "Udderly Ridiculous" Coffee Mug
Start your day with a beverage and a silent threat. Holds coffee, tea, or the tears of your enemies. Dishwasher safe.
$18.00
"Beef With Authority" Stationery Set
For writing strongly-worded letters, passive-aggressive grocery lists, or just doodling angry farm animals.
$15.50
Pasture-Aggressive Socks
Let your feet do the talking. Perfect for kicking up dust, figuratively and literally. One size fits most rebellious feet.
$12.00
Wisdom from the Pasture
"Our beef has a bone to pick with you."
"Don't have a cow, man... have an *evil* cow."
"The grass is always greener on the dark side."
"Warning: May cause spontaneous mooing."
Our Story
Evil Beef was born one fateful afternoon when our founder saw a cow give him a particularly judgmental look. It wasn't angry, it wasn't sad... it was just... evil. A mischievous glint in its eye sparked an idea: what if cows had a secret life filled with petty grudges and elaborate schemes? We decided the world needed to know. So, we created a line of products to celebrate the sinister side of our bovine buddies. We're here for the laughs, the puns, and the undeniable truth that some cows are just up to no good.